Perceive ANYONE Round You (Together with Your self!) Utilizing One Easy Instrument

Ashley:
That is Actual Property Rookie, episode 172.

Nick:
And I imply higher. And the individuals round me would’ve had a special life too. And I believe, at getting the people who find themselves in your life personally on board as a lot as they’re , the dividends that, that might pay, I can’t even start to let you know. I totally imagine that’s my space of ardour for certain.

Ashley:
My identify is Ashley Kehr and I’m right here with my co-host Tony Robinson. On this week’s Rookie Reply, we have now a particular visitor for you guys.

Tony:
Such a particular visitor that it nearly felt extra like a remedy session at one level than a daily Rookie Reply. However right now we have now Nick on the present and Nick is definitely, an enneagram professional. And once you hear enneagram, it’s a persona sort instrument just like the DISC profile or the Myers Briggs. However this one’s just a little bit completely different and Nick will get into what a few of these variations are and why he feels that this one is definitely, a greater instrument to make use of in your everyday life.

Ashley:
Yeah. Nick truly, sat down and spent an hour with every Tony and I and went by means of what our sort construction must be so this was one thing that was very new to me. Did you ever do any such testing Tony?

Tony:
No. Tyler Madden had talked about it to me that he had gone by means of this earlier than and bought lots of worth out of it however this was my first time doing it myself as properly.

Ashley:
I nonetheless can’t pronounce it accurately. In order you discover by means of the entire present I keep away from saying the phrase the entire time.

Tony:
Say the phrase now, say it that manner. Let’s simply get-

Ashley:
Enneagram.

Tony:
… woo. There it’s. You’ve bought it.

Ashley:
Is that proper?

Tony:
That’s it.

Ashley:
Okay.

Tony:
Yeah. Enneagram.

Ashley:
Let’s save that. We are able to insert it into completely different elements of the episode. Okay. So we’re going to deliver Nick on and study what varieties Tony and I are. And in addition why that is vital, what worth it could possibly deliver to your life and others. Nick, welcome to the podcast. We’re very completely happy to have you ever on Tony and I’ve each talked to you just a little bit earlier than this episode to get some background. I’d love so that you can share with everybody who you might be and why you might be right here right now.

Nick:
To begin with, thanks for having me on. I do know this isn’t your regular factor however I believe it’s simply a type of common human issues that’ll make anyone extra profitable within the issues they do and that features what you guys are as much as. I’ve listened to a number of of your podcasts, I don’t know the very first thing about what you’re do. Properly, I assume I now, know the very first thing about what you’re doing however that’s about it.
I’m an enneagram information, I’ve devoted the final a number of years of my life to it and after I say devoted, I imply perhaps just a little obsessively and it’s a instrument… One of the best ways to place it’s, it’s a roadmap, a scaffold to know ourselves authentically, and others higher and in a manner that isn’t placing you right into a field and containing who you might be, I believe just a few different of those instruments which can be useful are likely to do. In order that’s what I do with my life is, I assist individuals discover their method to get the filters and the masks off of the little silent voices which can be all the time influencing us and that’s by means of the enneagram.

Ashley:
So what precisely is that?

Nick:
Yeah. Nice query.

Ashley:
Are you able to clarify and break it?

Nick:
No. You all know, don’t you? After all. So enneagram comes by means of antiquity. It goes all the way in which again to monks and the Trappist monks manner again 1200 years in the past, utilizing this factor as a manner of understanding our emotional habits, our focuses, the issues that encourage us after which that permits us to know ourselves actually after which perceive others actually after which development from that. And so manner again when all these years in the past, lots of of years in the past, these monks needed to reside collectively. And I don’t find out about you however residing with a bunch of dudes who’ve taken a sure set of vows would in all probability, be difficult. And they also discovered that this was a instrument that allowed them to get alongside authentically and fortunately. It was misplaced, it was obscure for lots of years for hundreds of years and bought refound within the nineteenth century and actually delivered to life by some of us who’re nonetheless doing it right now as a sorter of personalities however much less that and extra of an understanding and a roadmap of who we’re.

Ashley:
How does this examine to the DISC profile or different persona duties which can be on the market?

Nick:
Thanks a lot for that query as a result of it’s one I’m obsessed with. I did all of these issues however I used to be particularly, a Myers Briggs man for a very long time. And man, I nonetheless, I’d by no means fault anyone for locating worth in it, it’s extremely useful. I believe the place it’s useful is at a sure level on our path and our journey and what I find out about lots of people however what I do know particularly, about this neighborhood is that, you guys are actually about self-improvement, actually about rising and never simply staying stagnant. And I believe in the event you’re a type of varieties of individuals and also you wish to develop and it’s important to you that you simply develop the Myers Briggs is on that line at a spot the place perhaps in the event you don’t perceive what it’s about you that makes you completely different.
I believe the Myers Briggs can let you know actually loudly and actually precisely. I’m an ENFP, I’m emotional, I’m intuitive, I’m a thinker, I’m a perceiver and I do considering earlier than I do judging and I’m an extrovert greater than I’m an introvert. And so you can begin to essentially perceive who you might be. However as you hear me say all that, you additionally hear me placing these containers round issues. You’re listening to me say, “You’re an introvert and never an extrovert, you’re this, you’re not that.” And I believe there’s a containment that occurs there that’s actually good for letting us perceive our tendencies and our behaviors. The enneagram speaks to our emotional habits, that’s my favourite phrase the place we go emotionally. We’re actually, if we’re paying consideration, often fairly good at realizing our habits however not our emotional habits.
The place will we land emotionally simply out of behavior? And the enneagram additionally speaks to our priorities, our driving feelings after which it’s by means of that. It says, “Properly, since you are likely to function extra out of concern than anger as an illustration, you are likely to go this manner,” however the enneagram permits you to say, I’m this type of ENFP. It’s about you, the person so you’ll be able to put these issues collectively, I’m a Myers Briggs ENFP however I’m an enneagram seven and that’s the form of ENFP I’m. And it’s extra about who you might be and fewer about what you do.

Tony:
Simply from my very own private information, what are you on the Myers Briggs?

Nick:
An ENFP.

Tony:
Yeah. [crosstalk 00:06:53]. Received you. What about you, Ashley?

Nick:
[crosstalk 00:06:56].

Ashley:
I do not know.

Tony:
Oh, you’ve by no means taken it earlier than?

Ashley:
I’ve by no means taken it. No, I’ve accomplished the DISC profile however I’ve by no means taken the Myers Briggs.

Tony:
Okay. What are you on the DISC profile?

Ashley:
I don’t even bear in mind.

Nick:
I don’t know anymore both.

Ashley:
[crosstalk 00:07:03].

Tony:
Ashley, you’re no hope. So on the Myers-

Ashley:
Okay. I’m going to look it up actual fast.

Tony:
… yeah. We’ve bought to get… I believe it’ll be cool to have this as a part of the dialog too however on Myers Briggs, I’m an INTJ. I don’t actually bear in mind what all these letters stand for but it surely’s just like the engineer or the scientist or one thing like that’s what they name it. On the DISC profile, I do know I’m a very excessive C after which decrease on the D and the I. So that you see some similarities once you take a look at a few of these completely different persona exams and I do see lots of the identical character traits within the enneagram as I noticed in my examples of the Myers Briggs or the DISC profile. However what I wish to dig into Nick, and perhaps if we are able to set the desk for the listeners right here is, the Myers Briggs talks, are you intuitive versus judging versus this versus that. The DISC is decisive and cautious and I can’t bear in mind what the opposite ones are. What are the completely different, I don’t know… I assume, classes of the enneagram that folks’s personalities and motivations et cetera, fall into?

Nick:
Yeah. Thanks for the query. I believe it’s actually essentially the distinction, is you’re speaking about these in each these programs within the Myers Briggs and the DISC and others which can be on the market, that it’s about, “Do you lean this manner or do you lean that manner? Are you extra of a follower or extra of a pacesetter?” And positively, these issues are endemic to the 9 various kinds of the enneagram. And once more, enneagram is, ennea is the 9 half in the event you’re into Latin, I’m not. However there are 9 persona varieties and fewer persona varieties and I exploit that phrase to attempt to relate to the Myers Briggs and stuff but it surely’s actually about these archetypes of sure sorts of people. And people sorts of, once more, motivational, what motivates you and the place your emotional habits are.
So for example, I’m a seven and sevens are motivated… So we’re a part of the concern triad. So that you’re both motivated by concern or anger or your coronary heart and as a part of the concern triad, I are typically an anxious individual, I don’t are typically an indignant individual. The truth is, I battle in conditions the place I must be indignant, truly, accessing it and doing that however I’m all the time anxious. Now, a seven goes to cope with that by instantly reframing it, discovering a silver lining in, “Life’s good, life’s completely happy, we’re all the time optimistic and optimistic.” And from the skin, we have a tendency to only look that manner whereas somebody proper subsequent to me, who’s an eight, so proper close to me on the enneagram is anger based mostly.
And so when issues come of their life which can be difficult, they combat it, they get their defend, they get their sword and so they’re bought to go combat that factor. So it’s actually about that motivation. So you consider what I simply stated and the complexity of it and the way you’ll parse that out into these little classes of ENFP or these different issues in DISC. How would you try this? We’re speaking about elementary driving feelings in you. The place does that land in Myers Briggs, the place does that land in DISC? And I believe they are often complimentary however that’s the elemental distinction, I believe.

Ashley:
Simply earlier than we transfer on actual fast, I did take a minute to look this up. In keeping with the Tony Robbins DISC profile as evaluation, to not be confused with Tony Robinson DISC profile evaluation, I’m a excessive, I.

Nick:
Is smart.

Tony:
I believe that’s what I appreciated concerning the enneagram too Nick, is that, such as you stated, the Myers Briggs or the DISC, it talks so much about the way you act however the enneagram was extra so, “Hey, right here’s why you act that manner,” which I believe is just a little bit extra instructive as a result of in the event you perceive your individual motivations, I believe it permits you to do a greater job of being extra self conscious and controlling these weaknesses in your personalities just a little bit higher. I don’t know. Are there different advantages to the enneagram that I’m lacking? Or would you say that’s the true huge factor that’s the motive force there?

Nick:
Yeah. I believe you nailed the middle of it however I believe the piece that we perhaps aren’t speaking about as a lot right here that I believe particularly, to your viewers is an enormous deal, is how that entails itself once you begin interacting with different individuals whether or not that’s private or skilled, man or man. To me, essentially the most liberating a part of it’s that capability to completely authentically, perceive others. What are we all the time instructed? That essentially the most empathetic factor you are able to do is put your self in another person’s sneakers, you set your self of their sneakers and we try this of out of nice goodwill if we’re being good individuals, we attempt. Properly, in the event you try this, you’re simply placing your self of their sneakers so your entire biases, all of your life expertise, your entire emotional habits and then you definitely go put your self of their sneakers and say, “Properly, okay, I perceive why they,” no, you don’t. You perceive how you’ll be in that scenario and the enneagram allows you to truly, perceive them of their sneakers.
And I believe a type of issues particularly, in enterprise partnerships the place issues might be actually perhaps rather less emotionally open, hopefully not however typically. Generally issues can really feel like, “Properly, if I stated that, if I did that, it could be as a result of I used to be actually mad, it could be as a result of I didn’t give a crap, it could be due to these,” however perhaps in the event you perceive this individual’s sort construction, you perceive that’s in no way what they’re doing, their motivations are simply completely different than yours. You’re a visionary, they’re an in depth individual so after they begin mentioning the main points which can be going to crumble, they’re not selecting aside your dream. They’re making an attempt that will help you perceive, right here’s some stuff which may go mistaken. That form of stuff so I believe the opposite worth is in groups and in relationships, each enterprise {and professional}.

Ashley:
So we talked about the way it’s vital to take heed to your self from studying about your habits and what sort of individual you might be so that you might be extra acutely aware of your habits and the way you work together with individuals. However you touched just a little bit about relationships and speaking with different individuals whether or not on their crew. So do you ask individuals to go get this testing accomplished or do you memorize all these varieties after which attempt to determine what sort they’re? How do you greatest strategy that as to determining what somebody’s sort is with the intention to work together with them appropriately?

Nick:
Man, what a terrific query. One of many cardinal sins for individuals in what I do is that you simply by no means sort anyone, it is best to by no means ever say, “Oh, you’re an eight and I do know that so da, da, da,” as a result of that’s simply a lot placing anyone in a field as something. However there could be a degree of consciousness and so ideally, yeah, Ashley. You’ll in the event you have been on a crew, I believe it’d be extremely useful to get all people to go at the least do a tertiary prime degree view and get some notion of what sort construction they may be and share that in the event you’re on a crew that I promise you, the payoff for that’s going to be manner increased only for a day or an hour of studying.
What you’ll see come out of that on a crew, I believe can be greater than you can presumably think about. That stated, as you undergo your life you’ll be able to’t simply encounter every individual and be like, “Right here’s a take a look at. I would like you to take this.” However in the event you spend a while in it even in the event you’re simply spend time on you and your sort construction, we’re all in numerous methods, we’re all of the enneagram numbers. You’ll be able to’t be fully divorced from any a part of it ultimately, the enneagram is the entire human expertise. And so that you begin to get a way in the event you meet anyone who, man, it simply appears like each time you deliver one thing up, they simply wish to combat you and it looks as if they like combating you and never simply you, all people. They only all the time wish to combat.
And people form of individuals you’ll be able to assume, “Man, what a jerk,” in all probability, somebody who’s an eight you don’t know. However from that, you’ll be able to actually begin understanding the explanation they’re that manner is as a result of they actually care. Eights deep at their core, are essentially the most gentle jelly loving individuals and however they’re tremendous delicate and their manner of coping with that and ensuring that everyone that they care about whether or not it’s on a piece crew or a household, they’re going to go combat. And so in the event you can see it for what it’s then you definitely’ll see it for that versus “Man, what a jerk,” you’ll see them combating for a factor they care about. And so to that finish if you can begin to get that sense, you can begin truly, understanding individuals who aren’t such as you.

Ashley:
So you will need to not solely perceive your individual sort however to have an understanding of the opposite varieties with the intention to take a look at anyone and say, “They might be this kind,” and that might be extra useful than simply memorizing what your sort is and realizing that. However getting some information and understanding of others is the place you’re going to get the true profit.

Nick:
Yeah. I’d say you’ll be able to break it into two elements. I’d additionally say I’d transfer from memorizing to having a relationship with who you might be since you actually begin to perceive that individual. And I believe that’s a part of the ability of it versus a few of these different persona issues the place, “I’m an ENFP,” this can be a relationship with your self. So at that half and you may simply try this and also you’ll be a greater individual to all people you encounter, you’ll be extra profitable in each one in all your interactions and within the stuff you do. You simply gained’t have the filters and the silent voices you’re not conscious of impacting that. And you can simply try this and I believe that’d be extremely useful however, yeah. In the event you really need the max advantage of it, understanding the opposite varieties and understanding at the least the categories, the people who find themselves actually shut in your life, simply on that degree, assume that’s an incredible alternative to essentially flip up the dial on, on what you’re able to doing with others.

Tony:
So Nick, not solely did we deliver you right here to teach our listeners on the enneagram however you additionally spend a while with Ash and I individually, attending to know us just a little bit and determining which of these 9 numbers we fell into. And I don’t find out about for you Ash, however nearly it felt like just a little bit like a remedy session. There was lots of deep, very pointed questions.

Ashley:
Yeah. That was the precise… I texted my good friend proper after I used to be like, “I believe I simply had a remedy session.”

Tony:
So Nick, I believe Ash and I’d each love if we might share with the listeners what variety of class we fell into after which simply have a dialogue round what precisely that quantity entails and simply have a fluid dialogue round it.

Nick:
Positive. And simply to kick it off, that typing interview is so completely different than the work you’ll do when you’re typed. And I completely, it’s like I stated it to each of you, it’s like a police, you’ve bought the sunshine on you and it’s like an interrogation and it’s intense. So thanks each for doing that with me. I actually respect it.

Ashley:
Properly, the questions are exhausting. You actually have to consider your self.

Nick:
Yeah. So thanks for doing that. I respect you taking the time and being so open. I believe what we landed on for each of you which ones is de facto fascinating to me is an enneagram sort construction of six. Ashley, there was just a little bit extra ambiguity with as a result of you will have lots of that seven power. I’m a seven so it takes one to know one. And I believe what’s fascinating about that although and I used to be hypothesizing with each of you if I ponder if in communities of individuals like this, who’re pushed to make their lives higher and to search out safety that you simply’re going to come across extra sixes, I don’t know. And right here’s why, sixes as a kind construction, their behavior of my is doubt. Doubt about, and once more, we return to that is your root degree.
All of us work to develop into higher and never let these items personal us however sixes, have a tendency to search out themselves doubting issues after which looking for a method to place confidence in these issues. So sixes can also have essentially the most religion out of any sort construction relying on the place they’re. And their driving emotion is, as I discussed earlier, concern. So doubt and concern and also you’re beginning to hear these phrases. I’m going to outing for one second and let you know one other factor I really like concerning the enneagram. It actually doesn’t pat you on the again, it doesn’t say you’re superb as a result of it just about is available in and says, “Right here’s what’s in all probability, a problem for you.” And the enjoyable a part of working in your sort construction is decreasing the affect of that however, yeah. As I proceed to speak to you right here in entrance of all of your listeners, I’m in all probability, going to inform the issues that don’t sound like rah, rah and that’s simply the character of the enneagram. That’s simply how it’s.
However your focus of attentions as a six is to search out the hazards and so that is all of the dangerous stuff however right here’s the factor that makes sixes so essentially superb is that they’ve an nearly supernatural capability to do this, to search out the hazards on this planet, see them coming, get a plan collectively to both mitigate it or fully keep away from it. And try this particularly, for his or her small circle of individuals, that’s usually their household, their precise literal, household. However sixes additionally make households out of the individuals they wish to however they do that as a lot or extra for these individuals as they do for themselves. And in the event you see a six at work, actually doing their factor, it’s supernatural. They will simply see all of it coming and plan and have it discovered earlier than it will get there.
So I felt lots of that from each of you. After which after listening to a few of your podcasts, it’s clear that you simply’re simply doing that every day which is why I ponder in case your viewers is overrepresented with sixes however, yeah. I believe each of you might be there. If I can simply pradal on just a little longer Ashley, I believe on the enneagram numbers, like I stated, we’re related to all of them however we’re related to outdoors of our particular sort construction for in stronger methods. So we have now a quantity will slide to in stress or some individuals say dis integration and a quantity we slide to after we’re extra calm, integration, some individuals say after which we have now wings. So the wings are simply, you’re going to lean to the precise or the left.
In the event you’re a six, you would possibly lean 5, in the event you’re six, you would possibly lean seven. And I actually really feel Tony, you lean heavy to the 5 which is the engineer as you talked about. My brother’s a 5, he actually sends satellites into house. He owns a satellite tv for pc firm after which the sevens are me, simply an excessive amount of power and I simply make all people uncomfortable. So it’s that power of positivity and all that and Ashley actually talked about seeking to the longer term which is such a seven factor to do, is to have optimistic plans on the books to have a optimistic spin on issues. If issues begin getting demanding, sure, sevens stress they’re ain’t anxious identical to sixes however they go someplace with that. It’s extra optimistic, attempt to hold it optimistic after which fives are these thinkers and I don’t assume both of you’re a 5 or a seven however you undoubtedly, lean that manner. And I believe what’s actually fascinating is how that exhibits up between the 2 of you.

Ashley:
That’s why we make the very best crew as cohost.

Tony:
So, Nick, I wish to discuss just a little bit about a number of the limitations or not limitations however a number of the persona quirks that perhaps make it just a little bit tougher for sixes as a result of as I used to be studying, I believe that was the half that jumped out to me. So we talked about a number of the shrainings of being a six however what are a number of the limitations and the way can Ash and I mitigate a few of these in our everyday lives?

Nick:
Thanks. That’s a terrific query. What’s fascinating about sixes is, the quantity I can consider, the sort construction on the enneagram that’s the most, their dichotomy, their strengths or their weaknesses and that’s so not often the case. Sixes are hypervigilant, finish of story. And that’s what makes them so superb at getting ready and planning for his or her lives and seeing issues by means of and doing that. You realize what else it does is, it will get of their manner, the nervousness, the occupied with all these issues that may go mistaken, it could possibly result in pessimism, it could possibly result in doubt. It may well result in these sorts of issues which… And so they can begin to spin. So the factor that makes them superb at being them can be the factor that holds them again and in relationships, together with and particularly, skilled relationships can simply decelerate the practice, can get caught and mired in that house.
And so they can also get they’re involved with loyalty and to allow them to discover themselves in a distrusting place. And I believe, boy, anytime you’re going to do one thing huge in your life, In the event you’re going to begin a brand new partnership with anyone, all of us have hesitancy as a result of it’s an enormous deal. However my goodness, in case you are so wrapped up within the concept, “If I can belief this individual, will they be loyal, dah, dah, dah,” that may maintain you again from lots of issues.
And people are some main challenges that sixes face and in addition there can often, be a self-doubt piece that comes into that. In the event you ever are blindsided by one thing as a six, man or man, can that land like a, “How did I not see this coming? How did I not, I’ve this superpower?” And that may actually be a result in self-doubt as properly. And I believe the superb factor about development within the enneagram versus development by means of different instruments is, you’re not addressing the truth that you’re too introverted or no matter, you’re addressing the truth that,”Man, right here’s this huge factor that I’m all the time targeted on and the way is that impacting the way in which I see all the pieces.” And so getting out of that may be actually highly effective.

Ashley:
What are some instruments and assets that we are able to go to learn to, we’re a kind six however we wish to be the very best sort six we might be?

Nick:
Yeah. I despatched you guys, hopefully you’ll be able to put up some hyperlinks and issues. To me, the authority the place I’ve accomplished nearly all of my studying because the narrative within the enneagram, they’re the OGs, if you’ll, of the enneagram and so they’re passionate, they hold updating not simply their terminologies however their methods of occupied with it. You heard me say a pair instances all through this, “Oh, some individuals use this verbiage and a few individuals use that.” They’re all the time actually occupied with how, they’re by no means accomplished and so they don’t assume they’ve it discovered. And I believe that’s actually superb and I’ve accomplished lots of stuff there. So the narrativeenneagram.com, there’s two books that actually kicked off my journey that change my life and that’s The Path Again to You and The Highway Between Us or I may need gotten the trail and the highway inverted on that but it surely’s one thing about roads.
And so The Highway Again to You and The Path Between Us, it’s written by a few pastors which is simply from that perspective they’re in no way… It’s not from the attitude of that religion however it’s, it’s their life expertise, it’s their discovered expertise. And they also share the way it works of their world so these are nice locations to begin. After which I actually really feel like there’s a lot you are able to do with studying and exams and issues however there’s simply actually no substitute for speaking to anyone. So clearly, me and other people like me who can sit down and actually work with you and your particular person, your sort construction and understanding it after which lessening its affect.

Ashley:
Let me ask you this, so after you talked with us and we recognized our sort construction, did you come into this interview realizing or having a plan, methods to work together with us based mostly on our sort construction? And what does that appear like, what’s one of the simplest ways to work together with a six?

Nick:
You realize what’s fascinating? That’s a terrific query, thanks. Sure and no, is the reply. Understanding sort constructions simply mechanically, as quickly as you, in the event you’ve been shortly and also you’ve invested in it, you perceive a six and so I believe simply mechanically, we’ll return to the Myers Briggs right here. My N, means I’m intuitive so that you’re both intuitive or considering. So upon getting the understanding, I believe you do on some degree shift, the way in which you communicate. I actually, am not speaking to you the way in which I discuss to a one or a 3 however I don’t assume it modifications the underlying, it’s perhaps simply talking a barely completely different language. And I believe for sixes, it’s letting perhaps just a little bit extra of me out personally. As a result of sixes wish to know they will belief you, sixes wish to know that you simply’re a human being on this world with them.
If I got here in like a one and one particularly, are very element oriented, they’ve a really loud internal critic and so they search for all the pieces that could possibly be mistaken and so completely different than sixes who search for issues that might go mistaken. And if I began doing that and bringing that power, I believe there’s lots of, that might make you guys really feel rather less snug. So I believe it goes again to that factor we talked about, in the event you perceive different varieties you’ll be able to simply be of their house with them in a manner that’s just a little extra genuine.

Tony:
Yeah. I’m considering as you have been speaking, Nick and it’s like, I really feel like I ought to actually simply do all of those with my spouse and my son, my son’s 14 years. So I believe he’s sufficiently old to get the worth out of this however how cool would that be if, as a household, we perceive one another’s enneagrams, we perceive one another’s Myers Briggs, their DISC profiles, man, what might that do to {our relationships}? So I’m simply considering out loud proper now however man, what a cool… I don’t assume households try this sufficient, understanding the place the opposite individual’s coming from.

Ashley:
Yeah. I believe you consider it extra of like groups at your work-

Tony:
Enterprise.

Ashley:
… enterprise however not into your loved ones.

Nick:
Properly, Tony, thanks. I imply, I do know I’m right here speaking to this viewers who has a selected curiosity and this can be a little off that matter however boy, I believe if I’m simply going to be actually blunt, that’s the actual mom load of worth within the new sport is what you simply stated. I imply, I didn’t point out it at the start, I used to be going to however the way in which I discovered it’s I discovered myself very all of the sudden and really unexpectedly divorced and my life was simply upended and that’s when the enneagram got here into my life.
And I’ll let you know the primary factor I saved considering as I simply began dipping my toes after which digging is, I’m like, “I’d’ve had a special life if I’d have had the enneagram previous to,” I imply, if I might have gone again to my twenties, I’d’ve had a very completely different life and I imply higher. And the individuals round me would’ve had a special life too and I believe, at getting the people who find themselves in your life personally on board as a lot as they’re , the dividends that might pay, I can’t even start to let you know, I totally imagine that’s my space of ardour for certain.

Ashley:
I see these and I don’t know a lot about this in any respect however like zodiac indicators or your horoscope, issues like that. I see issues on-line the place it’s like, “Oh, in the event you’re a Scorpio you match with an Aquarius,” I don’t even know if that’s one other one, I simply know I’m a Scorpio. And it’s like, you match properly with that individual in enterprise sensible and even relationship sensible. Are you able to take a look at these varieties and there’s higher individuals that you simply’ll work with or it doesn’t even matter in any respect? As a result of I noticed within the one worksheet, there was the thoughts, the physique and the guts and a few of them have been categorized. Are you able to go into that just a little extra too?

Nick:
Yeah. Thanks. So one of many issues I actually love concerning the enneagram too is, as a result of it’s treating us like individuals and never like pc applications that we are able to kind into various things, is that there’s the somatic piece. So you actually introduced that half up so our physique half and that’s the place we are likely to course of all the pieces in our lives. So the top varieties which is 5, six and 7. We actually, take your entire world in, we course of it and we do all the pieces we do by means of our brains. And it not often goes any decrease and if it does, we’re not snug with it. I’m one, I completely get that. And then you definitely transfer into simply, which manner we’re going to go? We’ll go eight, 9 and one, these are the physique sort, the very backside and that’s the anger sort.
It comes from their stomach, it rages and somebody like a 9, you deliver that as much as them you say, “Oh, you’re actually anger pushed.” And like, “No, I’m by no means indignant,” that’s precisely it. They’re so good, their total life is pushed by not being indignant. If there’s tumultuous scenario, they’re those who can slip their toes into all people’s sneakers, make all the pieces okay and transfer alongside. As a result of like, man, I simply don’t need any anger but it surely’s nonetheless anger pushed. After which there’s the guts varieties which I believe all of us can intuitively perceive, they reside their life by means of their feelings and the issues that make them really feel heat or not so heat. And so what’s fascinating is your query is, is there higher combined matches for enterprise relationships or private relationships?
And I believe on some degree there’s a pure tendency to search out ourselves, a thinker and a doer and we all know that’s true. That lots of the strongest partnerships perhaps the strongest partnerships ever. Apple, Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak, Jobs was clearly the thinker and Wozniak was clearly the doer and look what it did and so clearly, these are going to be two differing kinds. I’m guessing, Jobs was one thing like a seven and I’m guessing, that Wozniak was one thing like a 5.
Now, I don’t know however you’re in all probability, going to search out your self drawn to that. However I’d problem the notion that ultimately in the event you’re each wholesome conscious of your sort construction, conscious of one another’s sort constructions, that there isn’t a mixture that wouldn’t work. And I believe it’s about that dedication, that dedication to being the very best clean you might be, being greatest six you might be. And I believe from there, that’s the place I really like the enneagram is as a result of we’re all people and the enneagram permits for and encourages you to only be who you might be. And you may be two completely completely different individuals and each be sixes so I hope that solutions your query.

Ashley:
Yeah. It does, thanks.

Tony:
Properly, one factor I wish to touch upon actually rapidly, Nick. You apologize for speaking concerning the private relationship facet of the enneagram. However man, I believe that’s tremendous vital at the same time as all of us who’re investing in actual property, these of you which can be listening to this podcast and wish to begin investing in actual property, you’re doing so as a result of you will have this image in your thoughts of what you need your life to be like.
And for a lot of of you there’s clearly, the monetary half the place you will have this monetary freedom, this monetary safety however I’m certain for everybody that’s listening, there’s additionally a relational a part of that image of your life as properly. And it’s like, what good is constructing this huge monetary fort in the event you’re in there by your self? And I believe with the ability to actually perceive who you might be as an individual and the way you’re employed with different individuals is vital. My spouse and I, like I stated, we haven’t accomplished this but however I undoubtedly, wish to make her do it now. I say, make her do it. I imply, ask her to do it as a result of I’m certain, I can’t make my spouse do something.

Ashley:
[crosstalk 00:33:45] we already know who wears the pants in that family.

Tony:
Yeah. In the event you guys know my spouse, I can’t make her do something however we learn a e-book in our mid twenties, perhaps it. It’s referred to as The 5 Love Languages and that e-book was tremendous useful for us as a pair as a result of it gave us a greater understanding of who the opposite individual was. And we nonetheless actually, use the language that we picked up in that e-book right now about how we work together with one another. So that is me extra so simply giving recommendation to everybody based mostly on what’s labored for me is, in the event you can perceive your accomplice, your romantic accomplice, your dad or mum, your good friend, whoever it’s in a deeper manner, it actually does unlock a brand new degree in that relationship.

Ashley:
Tony, I believe that e-book even applies to enterprise relationships too. I’m going to an actual property investor’s marriage ceremony and there’s an entire group textual content going of, “His love language is present giving, we have now to do one thing superior for him.” And all people’s week is consumed, making an attempt to determine what present to offer him so I believe it’s a method to present appreciation too, in the event you do go together with what anyone’s love language is simply too and never simply in private relationships.

Nick:
If I can piggyback off of that, man, in case you are seeing the… And by the way in which I used to be a love languages man too. After I say that I’ve been into all these items, I’ve been into all these items. You guys are speaking about, the love languages I dig it and I believe you’re seeing the worth of simply these 5 little, “Oh, present giver,” or “Phrases of affirmation.” And also you see the worth in realizing that being acutely aware of it after which, such as you stated, are you approaching your spouse in a different way, Tony? Not consciously, however . So simply on a second to second foundation, you might be. You’re not considering, “Oh, present giving,” or no matter your spouse’s is, it’s simply there and also you simply know and so that you’re a greater individual to your spouse. And in the event you might broaden that infinitely, I imply, orders of magnitude, that’s simply what the enneagram is however on a brilliant richer, deeper degree.
And in the event you might perceive your spouse as a 4 my goodness, all of the little particulars, all of the nuances, all of the minutia, you’d be so ready to know these issues. And one different factor I simply wish to add is you have been speaking about you guys are pushed to construct these castles as a result of you will have this image of a life you wish to get to. And in working with pushed individuals such as you guys, one of many issues I most steadily work on is how do you do the love half and the life half when you’re on that practice? As a result of you’ll be able to work so exhausting and it’s for these individuals that you simply love. It’s not since you’re egocentric otherwise you’re ignoring them however man, it may be doable to simply try this. And so a number of the work is an understanding on the journey earlier than you get to that imaginative and prescient, how will we hold life working proper now in a very optimistic, fulfilling manner? In order that’s one of many issues that the enneagram’s nice at.

Tony:
Man, Nick, that is the place the remedy session kicks in as a result of what you’re saying is one thing that I battle with, truthfully. I ended working my W-2 job again in 2020 however I nonetheless do discover myself working so much however the motivation is completely different now earlier than is as a result of, “I wished to maintain my job, I wished the subsequent promotion, I wished a increase.” Now, it’s like, “Shit, if I’m not working then who is aware of what’s going to occur to my enterprise?” And there’s this insatiable want to continue to grow as a result of in that development, I really feel a way of safety. But in addition the explanation why I don’t ever wish to return to a day job is as a result of I need that freedom and that flexibility of time.
So I’ve that alternative however lots of days I’m selecting to essentially make investments it into the enterprise. And what makes it much more tough is that I do know my spouse and my son, their love language is high quality time. So I’ve to be very cognizant of this drive that I’ve and ensuring that I’m holding it in examine in order that I’m not pushed to the purpose that it decimate my relationships with the people who I really like essentially the most. So man, it’s a very deep dialog however one which I’m glad that we’re having.

Nick:
Properly, and I simply wish to level out only for anyone who’s being launched to this proper now, no matter 20 minutes in the past, I stated, “Properly, what’s sixes, what’s their emotional behavior, what’s their focus of consideration?” It’s safety in an unsafe world and it’s planning and all of the doubt and the da da. And man, as you’re speaking there, I’m like, “Geez, are you simply promoting the six factor on goal?” Is it like, “I wish to make it clear I’m a six,” since you actually simply stated all these issues. And the ability in that and what’s enjoyable about how correct that’s man, can then you definitely handle it so particularly, are you able to take a look at useless within the eye and begin mitigating its affect?
Whereas what are you going to do with the ENFP or INTJ, such as you stated you have been? How do you are taking that as a instrument and be like, “I’m going to be higher.” However boy, would it not be straightforward so that you can take a look at the precise stuff you simply stated and know that’s a behavior and know that in the event you have been doing another job in another place on this planet, you’d nonetheless be fighting that precise factor. And that I believe it’s liberating as a result of it’s like, “Properly, I’m not a slave to it and it’s additionally empowering,” since you’re like, “Now, I do know what it’s, I can go get it.” After which of us who’re pushed like that, aren’t okay with it simply sitting there. As soon as, what it’s, you’re going to wish to go sort out it. I simply assume it’s so [inaudible 00:39:11], I find it irresistible.

Tony:
Yeah.

Ashley:
And the truth that you’re very acutely aware of what your loved ones wants from you that as an alternative of, “Properly, I’m working to make us tons of cash so you’ll be able to go and purchase no matter you need,” the place that doesn’t matter to them, the place you’re discovering that stability of spending high quality time with them and being acutely aware of that, I believe it’s simply an enormous factor.

Nick:
That’s additionally one other huge six factor, proper? It’s all the time, like I stated at the start, it’s much less about them and extra concerning the individuals they love, each time.

Ashley:
That’s humorous. And I really feel such as you use the mistaken phrases for me to deliver this up as a result of I really feel prefer it’s on the mistaken message. However once you care about anyone, like I took on a brand new enterprise accomplice and the joy and simply him attending to give up his job was extra of a motivator for me than me being like, “Oh, I could make this a lot cash on this month.” I labored a lot tougher, I felt like as a result of I wished to say to him, “I instructed you can give up your job.” However the way you simply stated that folks, you care about your mates, your loved ones, individuals, which means one thing to you is a large motivator and also you care about that extra. I undoubtedly, determine with that as a six.

Nick:
Man, it goes again to that six factor of it’s usually and most frequently their precise household however like I stated, on the very starting of this, boy, sixes prefer to make their very own households too. Like, “Yeah. You’re my household now.” And I’m guessing, I don’t know however I’m guessing, whoever this enterprise accomplice you will have now isn’t only a good enterprise individual, a tough employee, in all probability, are all these issues. However I’m guessing, you have been excited as a result of, “That’s my household,” you’ve chosen this individual to be somebody in your circle versus simply, “Right here’s a enterprise alternative,” I’m guessing.

Ashley:
Yeah. And even Tony has introduced me into his household too in the event you take a look at his textual content messages, I’m pinned on the prime of the very choose few, the internal circle of household.

Nick:
I imply, we’re sitting with a {couples} part right here, it appears like.

Tony:
Nick, you shared so many good issues and I actually hope everybody that’s listening takes the time to exit and full an enneagram for themselves to allow them to get a greater understanding of their very own persona sort. However I don’t know, Nick, is there the rest we must always know concerning the enneagram, the way it’s helpful earlier than we wrap issues up right here?

Nick:
I’d simply throw out the 80/20 precept has by no means been extra true of something on this planet. You’re going to get 80% of the worth by simply placing 20% into this factor. And also you’ll simply be blown away. Now, my guess is that when you get that, you’ll assume, “Holy cow, what else can I do with this?” And in that case pursue, do it such as you do with something that’s a instrument in your life. However I promise you will have my phrase that in the event you simply do it a tertiary prime degree factor with this, you’ll already begin seeing simply superb payoffs in your life.

Ashley:
Superior. Properly, thanks a lot, Nick. Are you able to inform everybody the place they will attain out to you or discover out some extra info?

Nick:
Positive. One of the best ways is simply NB, I’m Nick Baumgart so nbenneagram.com. There’s just a few assets there however largely it’s only a method to get ahold of me. After which once more, I’d simply lead all people as a lot as I might to The Narrative Enneagram to me, they’re simply the authority out on this planet. It’s the place I’ve discovered nearly all the pieces I do know. After which one final little factor, there are exams and I believe the very best one is that The Narrative Enneagram, it’s a must to pay them 10 bucks. However I’d simply say, as a result of I discussed that we’re all related to all of the numbers and we have now these wings and we have now these traces that we transfer to, taking a take a look at it could possibly begin to really feel just a little bit like astrology, “Each single one in all these numbers feels like me.” And since to a point that it’s.
So in the event you do take a take a look at, I’d say, just be sure you learn and there’s going to be one that actually nails you and never in a great way. You’re going to really feel like somebody referred to as you out in your crap and also you’re not going to love it that’s in all probability, your precise sort construction. However there’s actually no substitute for being able to have somebody undergo a typing interview with you whether or not that’s me or not and with the ability to get the subtleties and the dialog that you simply guys talked about, the remedy session to essentially get in there. So by all means, take a take a look at however hold going.

Ashley:
Yeah, Nick, I’ve to say speaking to you was so significantly better. And like Tony stated, a remedy session the place for me to take a seat down and take a take a look at I’d simply rush by means of it to get it over with. And it in all probability, wouldn’t even find yourself being correct as a result of I’d simply wish to get it accomplished and over with it, click on by means of all the pieces [crosstalk 00:43:32].

Nick:
Or reply the way in which you wished [crosstalk 00:43:34].

Ashley:
Yeah. So I believe it was much more intentional doing it nose to nose or Zoom to Zoom and getting to speak with you. So thanks for taking the time to do this with each of us.

Nick:
Yeah. Thanks. That was nice.

Ashley:
I’m Ashley @wealthfromrentals and he’s Tony @tonyjrobinson on Instagram. And thanks guys a lot for becoming a member of us, we might be again on Wednesday with one other visitor. We’ll see you subsequent time and bear in mind sixes guidelines and others drool.

Nick:
I find it irresistible.